Adress. Deadline.

The other day I finally got round to picking up the keys to my postbox, and so now there is finally an adress to which you can send your symbolic skins and words if you want to participate! I'm so looking forward to maybe hearing from you and seeing this idea come into form.

The adress is:

Robin Knight

PB 21027

10031 Stockholm

Sweden

I have also decided that it may be better to have a deadline for when I give up on this wonderful project/start putting all the wonderful contributions together into a smashingly fabulous work of art. And it will be end of next year - new years eve 2012. So hurry scurry!! If you have any questions or comments - just let me now, here as a comment or on my mail: robin@bzbz.nu.

Lot's of love!

all brand new

Two days ago, we welcomed our daughter to the world. And now we are trying to settle in this new family constellation. Which feels totally right and... I think complete is the word I'm looking for. And I have to find out how best to be a brand new mother of two. It's not obvious. And of course how to mother this little project and see if I can, after all, make it fly or not. First thing is to go get the keys and adress to my P.O. Box. When I can walk that long, that is =).

Hope to hear from you,

R.

Still waiting for the baby to arrive. I haven't had my thoughts on this project much for a number of days, since the baby was supposed to come on the 15:th. He or she is taking his/her time... One thing I have been thinking about though, is how becoming parents creates a new type of vulnerability in you. At least it has done in me. Things that I would have done without hesitating before, decisions that were easy to make in the blink of an eye, now carry with them so much more tought, fear and hesitation. Everything I do now, I do both as myself and as my son's mother. I may not fear parachuting, or walking over the street when the lights are red, but I fear what could happen to my son's mother.

In another sence, my sense of being vulnerable has lessened. Just the other day I came to realize that one of my major "everyday issues" (or what to call it) has ceased to be of importance: I have always felt I'm extremely poor at small talk, and meeting new people in situations when this is required, for example parties, job conferences etcetera, has made me feel very exposed and frightened. And now, I'm chatting freely with all the other parents I meet in the playground, and our neighbours and people walking their dogs etcetera. Actually having fun! And this is since I had my son, I have stopped worrying so much about what I say and how it might sound, and instead caring about creating a community here where we live where all our children can be recognized and see that their parents are getting along.

I wonder what other changes in life changes your sense of vulnerability - strength and how. And I am so curious about how other people (you) think about these things and, of course, would visualize it artistically.

Hope to hear from you soon =).

p.o. box

And so, after whining a little bit earlier today, I finally ordered a P.O.box. Come first of august I'll finally have an adress to give you. So suddenly it seems that tomorrow might be the day I finally start networking a bit more actively =). To celebrate how roller coaster-like life can be (gloomy this morning, inspired tonight), I'm now going to check out a japanese roller coaster ride that looks like it's up my alley. Not in real life, sadly =). I do hope to go to Japan one of these days though.

Challenge number 2

How to stay at it?

That's the question for me right now. Right now I feel like just giving up and pretending I never had this idea. My baby is due in three days - feels like it's probably never going to come, I still have work to do, and I don't know wether this project is of any interest to anyone but myself. Should it matter? I don't know.

How do you keep at it? How do you keep the courage and energy to go on anyway? Even though you don't get much response. Even though the goal seems to be nowhere in sight. Even though what seemed to be an easy peasy little thing to do suddenly appears near impossible. I tell myself I should just relax and let it become whatever it becomes. It's something even though it doesn't turn out the way I imagined it. And also... If I want something to happen, I have to do something, no? Isn't it amazing how many reasons and obstacles can be found to doing what it takes to make a dream come true? I never find even close to half as many obstacles to doing things I don't like or don't particularly care for. Hmmm.... What's that about? I never seem to be hindered to go out with the garbage, or sweep the floors or do the dishes or go to work. But to send an email to a school or organization that might have members interested in joining this project? It seems easier to get a job as an astronaut. Maybe I'm just scared. That nobody will care about me or my idea. Better not to ask at all then. But I truly don't believe that, and it's sure not the way I want to live my life. And everyone I've talked to so far does think this idea is a good one. So, I'm going to find a way to keep at it. Maybe I'll finally get around to getting that P.O. Box today. And then suddenly it will fill up with wonderful pieces. Who knows? My challenge number 2 is to allow myself to stay inspired with or without the outspoken blessings, cheers or "of course you should"s of others =).

The last while I have been thinking a lot about this question of vulnerability and strength, and about how to enhance and explore my relationship with nature wich I feel is a core issue for me in order to be in harmony and have the courage to expose myself as vulnerable (and open to receive and give). And so, as a sort of side project to this project, I am now trying to make natuer more present in my everyday life. Luckily enough, I happen to have come across an alottment. Just outside our house. In the middle of the city. How amazingly fortunate is that? And allthough I have been far from tending enough in this conditioner of mine (two weeks until the baby is supposed to be born), a couple of evenings ago, I found that strawberries, beetroots and carrots are making their way through the sea of weed that the allottment has been covered in. It feels so nice to grow things myself that I will be able to eat (if they don't die first), and looking at those little sprouts I feel more grounded in myself.

I've also started knitting on something else. So far, it's just a bunch of squares, but in time it will be.... something. A blanket? A shawl? I've knitted blues to symbolize water (again). Now I'm knitting greens to symbolize the forest. Reds as the fire and the sun, and greys as stones and minerals will follow. I hope that you can be inspired too, to join in this work of art. Read the pages about the project and about joining if you're curious and want to find out the details!

Speach on vulnerability

Today I watched a really inspiring speach from one of the TED conferences (go to www.ted.com to find a great number of wise, inspiring, funny, smart people talking about their top subject!). The speaker is Brené Brown, a researcher who tells us about discovering the power of vulnerability. Follow the link to watch it, I really think it's worthwhile!

www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

It connects a bit to what I wrote in my post Vulnerability. Strenght. I want to quote how she put it, because I thought it was beautiful: Vulnerability "is the core of shame, fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love". So true, don't you think?

I can personally relate to this, since blogging about this project, actually trying to make it happen, and for example stating that I am/feel like an artist and creative person, makes me feel so vulnerable. I'm immediately filled with thoughts like: I can't say I'm an artist, I have no education, I don't work as an artist, I'm not good enough, people will laugh or resent me etcetera etcetera. But at the same time, as soon as I do something, whatever it is, connected to this project I feel enlivened, happy, inspired and filled with ideas. And I hope eventually this will also lead to me being connected to more of you through joining in this project together, or just through having a conversation here on the blog. Even just seeing that somebody has been here to watch puts a smile on my face =). Know you are welcome!