It begins with a p.

Procrastination.

I still haven't tried to contact possible people and contexts that might like to join this project. Still! I cannot believe how frightened I must be to make it so difficult for me. I still feel so sure that it is a good idea, and I am convinced the end result will absoutely fantastic.

And yet, when I imagine talking about it with people I feel shame. Like somehow if I ask people to actually join and try to speak up for this idea, then they will just stare at me and frown and maybe even laugh behind my back, and I will realize that of course it's ridiculous and how could I ever havecthought...

And I am also beginning to suspect that an old friend of mine is showing it's ugly face: the troll that destroys things that are good. Away with you! Maybe if I lovebomb it it will shatter, like trolls shatter when exposed to the sun? I read in an other blog about a project in which you try to write 50.000 words in a month. Maybe in a while when my daughter is a bit bigger I will set up a similar goal related to "marketing" this project and see where that takes me. Anybody else in need of such a challenge who would like to join me for company and encouragement?

Love to all of you!