Close. Distant.

Another big one. A constant conflict for many. Again, the fear of being vulnerable. Some of us fear to get too close since we might be exposed. Or become dependent. Some of us fear the distance to others. Having to face life alone. Some swing back and forth between these two, never really eing able to settle either in independence or in companionship. Of course we need both. And again it seems that the two are mutually interlocked, holding the key to one another:

If we do not know how to stand on our own two feet, if we cannot spend a fairly meaningful time by ourselves there is a risk that we will have some trouble in our being with others. And if we cannot relate to others,if we shut others out and refuse to aknowledge any need or weakness our solitude might soon become overwhelming, or we might start to fill up with emptiness. We are, after all, a social animal. We may need the love of others as a firm ground to step off into independence from. And to return to in times of challenge. And what does independence mean in a universe containing but one person? Independent in close company of others - easy peasy!

Wanting to come close to someone of course exposes us to the possibility of rejection. We've all been there and who would want to go there again? It hurts like hell!

And isn't it nice how this "conflict/solution" would show through this project if it got going a bit more - with all strong, independent works of art coming together to become something more than they were alone, at the same time that the whole (ten mantles) would never be so glorious if it weren't for the individuality of the pieces?! Something worth joining ;)?

I wish you all the best on this day that is so beautiful here in Stockholm at least!

Annoying!

I wanted to leave a response to the comment made on my last entry, but blogger refuses to let me! What?! So I can't respond to comments on my own blog? Ridiculous! Anyway, I mostly wanted to say thanks for leaving a comment, and that I agree that death can really have a twofold way of working as a "skin" for us: Either release us from all responsibility (There is no use in living if we are all going to die) or give us the courage and propell us forward past our fears (since we are going to die, none of our fears really will matter in the end, so we might as well go for it). I guess it is in the mindset towards death that we choose (consiously or subconsciously) I guess =).

Ultimate Vulnerability. Capitol V.

The utmost vulnerability. The thing that makes us tremble the most. Isn't that the knowledge of our own mortality? The inescapable death of us and everyone we love. For a long time I thought I had no fear of death what so ever. Until I had kids. Then I realized All I had done was to numb myself and pretend this absence of contacr with my thoughts and feelings was absence of fear.

And in my work as a psychologist I have learnt another thing about death:

When life hands us experiences in which we have to face our mortality, we often come in contact with great things. These close encounters with death make values fall into place, we suddenly have the courage to do things we have feared doing sometimes most of our life, we make insights about deeper, unknown, surprising or very wellknown but forgotten/pushed aside aspects of ourselves. What scares us most can give us courage, knowledge, harmony, joy, acceptance - all this good stuff.

Apart from this being interestingly paradoxical it should probably make us wonder how it might be possible to gain access to all of this without almost dying first. We all know this - lots of people have written about it and spoken about it. It's by no means news... But then what? How do we turn the knowledge into a hands on real positive force in our life?